(Particularly if she could watch.) If you’d had the decency to ask for her permission, NOTBI, you wouldn’t now be in the position of having to ask for her forgiveness. Second, a girlfriend who endorses your interest in crossdressing and pegging is a girlfriend who might have endorsed your interest in a boy-on-boy make-out session. Now Over Transient Bisexual Interestsįirst, after reading your letter, NOTBI, I was left wondering what would’ve gone down (you perhaps?) if the gay dude you made out with-after you tried so very, very hard to tell him you were in a relationship-didn’t have a rough beard and use too much tongue. Do I tell my girlfriend? I worry that telling will make her worry, and the worry will cause distrust, and that distrust will ruin a great three-year run. His stubble hurt, he used too much tongue, and I got nothing out of it. I tried to tell him I was in a relationship, but we kissed. Recently, a hot 22-year-old gay guy told me he was interested. My girlfriend endorses these interests, and I love her for that. I’m an 18-year-old male who is weird in the way of a bit of crossdressing and pegging. And now Marcelo has a right-no, a responsibility-to tap Chad on the shoulder and, without any sense of malice or triumph, say, “Welcome out, Chad.” -Dan What Marcelo did was the Grindr-era equivalent of ducking behind a post. What Chad is doing on Grindr-sending out face pics, chatting about his homosex preferences-is the Grindr-era equivalent of making out with a random dude on the dance floor of a campus gay bar.
There was a code of conduct for friends of closet cases when I was in college-which was, I’m sorry to say, just a couple of years before Grindr came along (cough, cough)-and a section that dealt with dance-floor make-out sessions: If you saw a guy who told you he was straight in class on Friday morning making out with some random dude on the dance floor of the campus gay bar on Friday night (or in the gay bar three towns over), you had a right-no, you had a responsibility-to tap him on the shoulder, smile, and say, “Welcome out, dude.”Īnd if you had engaged in a little subterfuge-if you, say, ducked behind a post when you saw the closet case come in so he wouldn’t spot you and flee the gay bar pre–shots/shirtless-make-out-session-that was an understandable impulse and forgivable sin. So the pre-Grindr college-age closet case would slip into a gay bar and, after pounding shots in a wildly successful effort to self-medicate against his inhibitions, wind up shirtless on the dance floor making out with some random dude.
(Or visit the cruisey bathroom in the undergraduate library, but let’s leave that one alone for now.) The closet case knew he was running a risk by showing his face in the campus gay bar-even the gay bar three towns over-but going to the bar was the only way to get some dick. Should we say something to Chad? Would letting him know he’s been outed be the best course of action? Should we have a gayvention? -Closet Case ConfusionĬhad hasn’t “been outed,” CCC, Chad outed himself.īefore Al Gore invented the Internet and ruined everything for everyone forever, a college-age closet case had to work up the nerve to visit the campus gay bar if he wanted some dick. It turns out that Chad is experienced enough to know his homosex likes and dislikes and carry on a detailed conversation about them with a guy on Grindr.
Last night, Marcelo was on Grindr and got a message from a guy who turned out to be Chad! Chad sent a face pic, Marcelo sent a faceless one back, they chatted. Over four years at college, this situation has gone from funny to sad as we realize he may never come out and could pull a Marcus Bachmann and live a miserable life with a miserable wife. to watch Kate marry William-I could go on.
Never had a girlfriend, a dance major, dyes his hair blond/green/purple, got up at 2 a.m. My friend “Marcelo” is friends with “Chad.” Everyone who meets Chad assumes he’s gay.